Category: Linda Antwi’s Journal


If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth, Colossians 3:1-2

As 2011 gets a running start, I am reminded that it’s never too late to follow the vision God has placed on your life.  Yes, perhaps you got sidetracked, discouraged, lost, unsure, disgruntled, scared, fearful or a combination of all of these feelings, but, they’re what is holding you down.

At 12:01 am on January 1st, 2011, I felt a definite shift in my life. I couldn’t put words on it…it was just a feeling that finally, I was back on track.  I felt a renewed faith and energy, that I had not felt in a very long time.  It wasn’t that generic “Happy New Year” lip service, that I often feel as each New Year passes, it was His Spirit within me.  I had finally let go of my negative fears.

This year I am going after the life I have been made for.  I am pursuing everything that He leads me to and not allowing setbacks to discourage me.  I’m excited.  I’m happy and I am doing everything  I can to stay  in my lane!

What do you want? I mean REALLY want? This is the time to act.  You are a lender and not a borrower! You are the head and not the tail! He has so much in store for you, if you’d just get out of the way!

Today, BELIEVE!  Set your mind on Him and Him alone, the earthly things will work themselves in or fall to the wayside!

It’s never too late to live the life you want.

Blessings in abundance, today and everyday!

I don’t know about you, but I often struggle with patience, control and timing.  I want things done a specific way and I want them now. God places this great vision on my life, He shows me the steps He wants me to take, I take them. He blesses the situation and just when I think, “Oh, ya, it’s time”! Woo Hoo! I am about to get my breakthrough, He says “Ok, now wait”! WHAT? WHY?

God, don’t you know I don’t have the strength to fight this battle any more?  Don’t you know I need this to happen because of all the other things that have failed in my life? Don’t you know I have rent to pay and people to impact? Don’t you know that my car note is due and I am tired? Don’t you want me to be successful? Don’t you want me to be blessed? Don’t you want me? Have you forgotten about me? GOD! Are you listening?

Answer:

My daughter, I know you better than you know yourself! I created you! I know the beginning and the end! If you would just have faith! If you would just learn this lesson. If you would just not make this about YOU, I could DO what I said I would do…I AM ABLE!

“So be patient, brethren, [as you wait] till the coming of the Lord.  See how the farmer waits expectantly for the precious harvest from the land. [See how] he keeps up his patient [vigil] over it until it receives the early and late rains.  So you also must be patient.  Establish your hearts [strengthen and confirm them in the final certainty], for the coming of the Lord is very near,” James 5:7-8

He’s ABLE and He WILL!

As Thanksgiving Day approaches, I am often torn by the one specific day given for thanks.  I am thankful everyday, seven days a week, three hundred and sixty five days a year.

I am thankful to God for waking me in the morning.

I am thankful for when He didn’t give me what I asked for and for when He did give me what I asked.

I am thankful for my friends, my family and for strangers who have crossed my path and impacted my life in some way.

I am thankful for the journey, for lessons learned and for lessons I got to pass.

I am thankful for when I didn’t get into that club and for when I did get into that school.

I am thankful for not going on that date, but for staying in with friends.

I am thankful for the delayed flight and the closed lane.

I am thankful for His love through my stubbornness, my fear, my lack of faith and my sins.

I am thankful for forgiveness and forgiving.

I am thankful for the job I did get and the job I didn’t.

I am thankful for the home I lost and the one I gained.

I am thankful for the car that was crashed, but life saved and the new one that He replaced it with.

I am thankful for time spent with loved ones and for time spent alone.

I am thankful for when I dropped the cell phone in a glass of water and for when I broke a heel.

I am thankful for the argument I got into with boyfriend A so that He could reveal to me that He is the ONE.

My thanks to Him is everyday, that He is always thinking of me, even when I am not thinking for myself. He loves me unconditionally, even when no one else does. He protects me when I am fearful and humbles me when I am prideful. He shows me how much He has in store for me if I would just give Him all my praise!

“Therefore, I will give thanks to You, O LORD, among the Gentiles, And sing praises to Your name,” 2 Samuel 22:50

So, on this day, what are YOU thankful for?

“And the LORD appeared to him the same night and said, “I am the God of your father Abraham; do not fear, for I am with you. I will bless you and multiply your descendants for My servant Abraham’s sake,” Genesis 26:24

The valleys in life tend to scare us.  How am I going to pay my rent? My mortgage?  My car note? I lost my job? I lost my home? I’ve lost a loved one.  My friends have abandoned me. I feel sad.  I’m depressed. I feel lost. I’m not motivated.  I don’t know how or where to start.  The list goes on!  I have felt these things, I have heard these things and I see these things in others on a daily basis.   We all have a test-imony!  How are we walking in it?

Have you ever gone hiking? The hike up the mountain, is often strenuous. The heat/cold fatigues us, we lose our even keeled breathing and we thirst.  However, when we get to the top of the mountain, we forget how hard it was to get there.  The view from the top, makes it all worth it.  It’s easy to see the beauty at the top of the mountain.

I have had to deal with my fears and continue to do so.  My fears manifest in various ways, the latest has been, doubt.  Has God forgotten about me? Am I going to make my way back to my “life.”  Can he really pull me up out of this?  Is He really going to do what he said He would do?  Was the vision He gave me, really a vision? You know, I’ve got bills to pay!  Should I scrap the vision because I failed the first time?  Should I find any  9 – 5  job and call it a day?

All of these things have crossed through my mind on various occasions and what He has shown me in my quiet time with Him and in His word was that I had a lack of faith! Fear is not of Him and doubting Him was my sin.

When I get caught up in my circumstances or my feelings about my circumstances, I’m in my flesh and in the world.  When I rest in Him, the fear evaporates and the peace of his Holy Spirit  fills me.  For me, that is my daily battle.  I make a conscious effort every morning to trust Him, believe Him, and I know He is able, if I would just get out of the way and cooperate!

I encourage you to look past your surroundings.  Look up, because before you know it, the valley is behind you and you are absorbing the view from the top of the mountain! Will there be other valleys? Absolutely! But the next time, you’ll have the experience and wisdom to know that it’s only temporary and the path to your mountain!

“And Moses said to the people, “Do not fear; for God has come to test you, and that His fear may be before you, so that you may not sin,” Exodus 20:20

I wrote an entry recently, in my journal about God showing me that He was the love of my life and how He was showing me how He was working on me.  Well, what about the times you feel lonely or all alone? In my life, I have had a tendancy to not say “NO” to relationships that were not for me because I did not want to hurt the other person; I didn’t want to be the sole single person or I just wasn’t sure if I was giving the relationship an adequate amount of time to develop. In this day and age, so many people are serial dating, breaking up, cheating and just, in my humble opinion, taking the easy way out.  I did not, do not want to be that person.

However, I have come to realize that sometimes, I have to  part ways because staying together was what I wanted and not what He wanted for me.  Forming soul ties to people you were not meant to have soul ties makes it hard to know when it was not meant to be.

So, back to my question, how then do I combat loneliness and not date to just be in the company of someone or be OK being the sole single person when out with friends?  Well, I talk to Him.  I tell him how I am feeling in every moment and I ask him to deal with my heart issue.  Psalm 10:17  says; “O Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear.”

When I talk to him about feeling lonely or feeling sad about not having someone, He always hears me and blesses me with his love.  Sometimes that comes in filling my spirit with joy, sometimes it is a phone call from someone I haven’t talked to in awhile, sometimes it’s just being in my word and Him speaking to me through a specific passage, it is always different. But, He can’t fix, what I do not acknowledge. So, I have learned to be open and sometimes vulnerable to where I am in every specific moment and I just give it to Him and as we have all heard, and honestly, I don’t recall from where or from whom…but I let go and let God!

“Everyone will be salted with fire,” Mark 9:49

I read this recently and it reminded me that not everything goes to my “plan” and thank God for that because had He given me EVERYTHING according to my 5 and 10 year plan, I would not have been ready.  When I was 19, I thought I had it all planned out. I knew who I was, what I wanted and how I was going to get there…boy was I wrong.  Although, I can’t honestly tell you that I enjoy the trials and tribulations, you know, the hard times.  What I can honestly say, is that in hindsight, I can appreciate what the lessons are.

It amazes me who I have become and who HE is ultimately leading me to be.  I remember not too long ago, small things would stir me up and bend me out of shape.  Now, I have smaller reactions and tend to see most things as “jar half full”.  I recently was told by a person that I was dating that I needed to stop believing in “a perfect world” and that he was from the real world and had street sense.  I pondered that for days and then in my quiet time with God, HE revealed to me that I was to continue to have joy and peace in an imperfect world and I was not to let the “salt of the fire” make me salty.  It made so much sense to me.

When we become hardened by our tests, God can not use us as easily.  HE then has to break the hardened exterior, to get to us what he wants and for some, that can be a lifetime.  I don’t want that to be me.  I want to learn and grow in HIM.  The peace in my spirit that comes from knowing HE’s got me…priceless!

Don’t be salty, be seasoned!

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he,” Proverbs 23:7

Many of us know this passage by heart, but it wasn’t until recently that I was open to really allowing it to seep into my spirit.  As a  single woman, who is believing in God for her husband; dating, as of late, has been very difficult for me.

As a serial relationshipist, yes, I know that is not a real word, but it is oh so accurate, I find that the dating scene has changed.  I don’t want to join a website and get matched, my mom’s choices are just that, my “mom’s” choices.  The church I attend is small and even there, 99% of the men are married or not looking in this direction.  Most of my friends are either married or in committed relationships, so when we go out, I am their “single” friend.

At first, I had a hard time with being single.  I replaced serial relationships with serial dating.  Then, an elder in my church spoke into my life and told me with all that was going on in my life, at the time, perhaps this was not a season that I should be dating.  I agreed.  So, I spent a year, not dating and traveling for work.

What I did not realize was that in this season, I was in a relationship with God.   He was wooing me and showing me the true condition of my heart.  No distractions.  No cushions. No drumming up  any antics.  It was just me and him.  He was allowing me to be comfortable by myself and with myself.  He was loving on me and He was healing me all in the same season.  He was holding on and not letting go.

What I realized in that season, it wasn’t about the internet, my church, my mom or any other thing, it was all about me.  I needed to make me a priority and to be comfortable and loving to myself.  My journey is not my friend’s journey, my neighbor’s journey, nor my parents’; it was my own and HE had it all figured out.  I just needed to continue to love on me and truly believe in my heart.

When the time comes for me to be a wife and mother, I will be the woman that HE  has created me to be and those will only be a few of the “titles” that I will have added to my life.  Until then, I am enjoying the journey and the lessons and the love of me!

Single ladies, try reaching out to HIM, you may just find that He is the love of your life!

Psalm 51: 1-3, “(h)ave mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love.  Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me clean from my guilt.  Purify me from my sin.  For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night.”

Has God ever told you to do something, and for whatever reason, you don’t do it?  Whether it is your own fear, insecurities, anger or just laziness, you rebel against the vision he has given you?  I’ve known for many years that what he has told me was coming, was really coming!  I saw a glimpse of it when I started my company.  However, with the loss of my company and the various things that followed, I became fearful and angry towards Him and just blocked out trying again.  He would speak to me through other people, they would mention my company and what I was doing to bring it back.  I would make excuses or just not answer them because I was so angry with the “perceived” failure of my business.

Then one day, not too long ago, I was on a plane and had forgotten my headset, so I was just sitting and talking with God.  He told me that in my stubbornness laid my sin.  I had heart issues.  I was not believing what He had told me and He wanted to deal with that.  I heard Him loud and clear and asked Him, where did he want me to start, because, I knew, I would not be able to do it again on my own.

He gave me a plan and without really knowing how the plan was going to pan out, I started taking “baby steps” towards the vision.  In doing so, my life came back.  I walked taller, I spoke clearer, I dressed better and started to feel like myself again and not just a shell of  myself.  I am back on my path.  I don’t know what lays ahead, but I do know, that He has given me just enough light for the steps in front of me.

I’ll keep you posted on how the He accomplishes His plan.  But, what is your vision?  Dust it off and shake it out because YOU can do it, if you just believe and trust Him!

“But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head,”  Psalm 3:3

I often times get caught up in my own understanding.  I forget that not every battle is my battle and not every circumstance is for me.  In this season of reinvention,  there has been a lot that God has restored to me and I know, much more to come.  However, occasionally, something or someone tries to attack me.  Not physically; but attack what I know God  has promised me and the vision he has on my life.  Whether with action or words, it tries to penetrate my spirit and distract me from what I know as Truth.

I must remember that everything I do and say is for HIM.  When the situation says no, or a person offends or intimidates me, that is not my truth.  If I give the situation to God (I mean, really give it to him and not take it back with my words or actions), He always has my back and my front and my sides.

This week, I had to close my mouth and interrupt my thinking so I would not react to what “looked” like reality.  God’s reality is not always the world’s reality. Be careful from where and who you are getting your reality.    There is only one Truth.  When I read Psalm 3:3, it was the reminder I needed to set my mind right!

Stay encouraged and walk  with your head held high!

Dear Lord,

The Book of James in chapter 3 tells me all about the tongue. It’s such a little member of the body, but it can do so much harm. We can speak words that bless You and words that curse man who is made in Your image. A few words can uplift, encourage, and do positive things in a person’s life and a few words can also put down, discourage, and ruin a person’s life.

Please forgive me of allowing any words to leave my mouth that would harm others and dishonor You. I pray that my words will be honest and positive; that they will inspire and challenge others to greatness. Show me who You want me to encourage through my words today. Please help me to affirm someone close to me today, that they will be blessed and You will be glorified. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen. Prayer from TGIF Prime Time With God, September 16, 2010

I have not always been the most transparent person, but God has since long changed that.  This weekend I saw the power of words through Him.  I had a meeting this weekend that was for a project I am working on.   And, I realized half way through the “meeting” that this encounter was not about work.  It was about my testimony and HE wanted me to give full disclosure of my walk and my journey thus far.  From the joys and pains, trials and tribulations, HE had me share my story, to a woman that once encouraged and prayed for me during my hardest and darkest times.

Though our journeys were different, she was in a place that I was all too familiar with…but would I share, would I speak life into her situation, by disclosing my story?  It wasn’t even a second thought; I was speaking before I even realized it.  By the end of our time together, I was so truly blessed by our encounter, I just had to smile.  Sometimes, it is just about being open to hearing HIM and sometimes it is about opening your mouth and sharing your story, however painful it may be.  I’ve learned that any embarrassment or shame or hurt I feel about my story, that’s not God, that’s me and I may be blocking a blessing, not only for myself, but, also for who it is really for.

What is YOUR story and how could it possibly bless you and someone else, if you just opened your mouth?


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