“And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” — Luke 9:23
In the previous study, Disciples Love Jesus Above All, we learned that true Love for Jesus always demands a response. )nce we’ve declared that He is our greatest treasure, the next step is to let that love reshape our entire life. Jesus made this clear when He said that anyone who follows Him must deny themselves and take up their cross daily. To love Him above all means surrendering the rule of our hearts, exchanging self-centered control for Christ-centered devotion. Discipleship begins where self ends.
When Jesus spoke these words, He and his disciples were on their way to Jerusalem. As they walked, He and His disciples were surrounded by crowds of people seeking miracles instead of the miracle worker. Responding to this, as we read in Mark 8:34, Jesus called the crowds together, and began to clearly teach them what it truly meant to follow Him. His words were contained difficult truths that many would not accept.
Discipleship is not a path of self-promotion but of self-denial. “Whoever wants to me my disciple,” He said, “they must deny themselves.” While this phrase was followed by an even harder statement about carrying their cross, this study will focus on this first part – denying himself. In the next study, we will address what carrying the cross means.
In these few words, Jesus turned the values of the world upside down. While culture celebrates self-expression, self-assertion, and self-fulfillment, Jesus calls His followers to the opposite: to surrender the throne of self entirely to Him. To deny oneself is not about losing identity but about exchanging a false freedom for true freedom by laying down self-rule to live under the gracious lordship of Christ, the Son of the Living God, the second person of the Triune God.
What it Means to Deny Yourself
The Greek word translated “deny” (arneomai) means to renounce, disown, or refuse association with something. It’s the same word that is used when Peter denied knowing Jesus. To “deny yourself” then, means to say “no” our own sinful desires, ego, and ambitions as ruler of your life.
This is more than saying “no” to certain sins or bad habits. Jesus calls us to a deeper rejection, essentially dethroning our self-centeredness in all its forms. Our old nature constantly urges us to say, “I will do it my way” while discipleship begins with a new prayer, that of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane: “Yet not as I will, but as you will.” (Mt 26:39.) Denying self means transferring ownership of your life from you to Christ.
It’s important to see that Jesus targeted this call to anyone who wanted to follow Him. It’s not a special requirement for spiritual elites; it’s the doorway to discipleship itself. To follow Christ without denying self is impossible because both cannot occupy the same throne. The self that insists on control, recognition, and comfort cannot walk the narrow road of obedience.
Self-denial is not self-rejection. Jesus is not calling us to despise our existence or to destroy our individuality. Instead, He invites us to abandon self-sufficiency and self-worship. We are not losing ourselves; we are finding who we truly are in Him. As Jesus said, “Whoever loses their life for My sake will find it” (Mt 16:25).
In Denying Ourselves we Find our True Selves
The command to deny self goes back to the root of humanity’s fall. In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were not tempted to serve evil; they were tempted to live independently of God, to decide for themselves what was right and wrong. That same need defines the human heart for all of fallen mankind: the desire to be one’s own master.
The desire for self-rule shows itself in countless ways: pride, seeking recognition from others, fear of loss, vain ambition, and self sufficency. These are not minor flaws; they are signs of an inner rebellion against God’s authority. The gospel does not call us to tame the self but to crucify it. To refuse its dominance and yield entirely to Christ.
Paul describes this in Galatians 2:20: “I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” The essence of Christian life is not self-improvement but self-surrender. Denying self is the daily act of stepping off the throne and allowing Christ to reign there instead.
This is the great paradox of discipleship: in dying to self, we find life. The more we cling to our own control, the more we become enslaved. But when we release control and say “no” to self and “yes” to Jesus, we discover God’s peace, purpose, and freedom that cannot be shaken.
The Practice of Self-Denial
It is important to realize; self-denial is not a one-time decision but a daily discipline. We live it out in everyday life. It may mean forgiving others when you would rather get revenge. It might mean serving when you would rather be seen. Or, perhaps giving when you would rather keep. Self-denial is the humble practice of choosing God’s will over your own – again and again.
Jesus perfectly modeled this in His life on earth. Even though He was equal with God, He “made Himself nothing” and “humbled Himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross.” (Phil 2:7–8). The path He walked is the path He invites us to follow. Denying self is not the loss of joy; it’s the gateway to it. For when we lay down the burden of self-rule, we finally rest in the sufficiency of His grace.
What this Means for Disciples Today
The Greek word translated “deny” (arneomai) means to renounce, disown, or refuse association with something. It’s the same word that is used when Peter denied knowing Jesus. To “deny yourself” then, means to say “no” our own sinful desires, ego, and ambitions as ruler of your life.
This is more than saying “no” to certain sins or bad habits. Jesus calls us to a deeper rejection, essentially dethroning our self-centeredness in all its forms. Our old nature constantly urges us to say, “I will do it my way” while discipleship begins with a new prayer, that of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane: “Yet not as I will, but as you will“ (Mt 26:39.) Denying self means transferring ownership of your life from you to Christ.
It’s important to see that Jesus targeted this call to anyone who wanted to follow Him. It’s not a special requirement for spiritual elites; it’s the doorway to discipleship itself. To follow Christ without denying self is impossible because both cannot occupy the same throne. The self that insists on control, recognition, and comfort cannot walk the narrow road of obedience.
Self-denial is not self-rejection. Jesus is not calling us to despise our existence or to destroy our individuality. Instead, He invites us to abandon self-sufficiency and self-worship. We are not losing ourselves; we are finding who we truly are in Him. As Jesus said, “Whoever loses their life for My sake will find it” (Mt 16:25).
Denying ourselves is the inward surrender that begins the journey of discipleship. It is the moment we step down from the throne and invite Christ to reign. But this inward surrender must now take form in daily life. The disciple who has laid down self is also called to take up the cross, to live out that surrender through visible obedience, endurance, and faithfulness in the face of trials. In the next teaching, we’ll explore what it means to carry the cross and follow Jesus along the path of costly but joyful devotion.
Denying self prepares the heart for the next step of obedience: carrying the cross. One deals with who rules our life; the other with how that surrender is lived out. The disciple who has yielded control to Christ is now called to follow Him into the daily cost of obedience, endurance, and perseverance. In the next study – Disciples Carrying Their Cross – we will look more deeply at what it means to carry our cross, not as a symbol of suffering alone, but as a daily expression of love and loyalty to Jesus.
Questions for Reflection and Discussion
What does “denying yourself” mean to you personally?
How is Jesus’ call to deny yourself different from the world’s messages about self-fulfillment or self-expression?
Why do you think Jesus makes self-denial the first step of discipleship before “taking up the cross” or “following Him”?
What does this reveal about what He values most in His followers?
What are some common ways Christians today struggle to deny themselves?
(Consider comfort, reputation, control, or personal ambition.)
Can you share a time when denying yourself for Jesus led to deeper joy or spiritual growth?
How did that experience reshape your understanding of discipleship?
How does “denying self” relate to surrendering your will to God’s will?
Think of Jesus’ own prayer in Gethsemane: “Not my will, but Yours be done.”
What daily habits or practices help you cultivate a life of self-denial?
(e.g., prayer, fasting, generosity, serving others, silence, simplicity)
What would change in your life if you fully lived out Jesus’ words, “If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself”?
How might your relationships, priorities, and sense of purpose be transformed?
My name is Michael Adkins. For several decades I’ve been studying Scripture, developing discipleship resources, and teaching others how to walk more closely with Christ. Currently, I serve as the Discipleship Pathway Leader at Riverside International Church in Cascais, Portugal, where my passion is helping believers grow into mature disciples who live out their faith in everyday life.